


phoneme

by nisakomi



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Drabble Collection, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 02:01:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7021192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nisakomi/pseuds/nisakomi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>26 + 1 canon ot13 ficlets of 100 words each</p>
            </blockquote>





	phoneme

 

Alaska 

“Thanks for inviting me on this cruise tour with you man, it’s nice to get away with just the two of us so we can speak in English without someone heckling us.” 

“Thanks for coming with me, Vernon,” Jisoo says. 

“Just curious, why the north pacific?” 

“To prepare myself. I got an email saying if I forwarded it to twelve people I’d find out the name of my crush, but I misread and sent it to only ten so I’m going to be stuck living in the arctic for the rest of my life.” 

“…Josh, you know those are fake, right?”  
  
  
bridging the gap 

“It’s just not going to happen,” Seokmin says, shaking his head and taking his hand off Soonyoung’s fly. 

“I got this. Elastics?”

Junghan slaps two rubber bands into Junhui’s hand. The rest of the members crowd around to watch Junhui thread one each through the zipper and button loops before tying them over the button of his performance trousers. 

At the oohs and ahhs, Junhui waggles his eyebrows. “My mom used that trick when she had my little brother.” 

“Trust Hosh to eat so much chicken he becomes pregnant with a food baby.” 

“Hey, Seungkwan’s the one who dared me!”  
  
  
cake 

“Mingyu-ya, I know you can cook, but can you bake?” 

“I can, but baking is mostly Junhui-hyung’s domain.” 

“Perfect, both of you can help with the cake. Wonwoo, go grab him.” Soonyoung waves him off. 

“Why are you guys baking a cake?” 

“You see,” Junghan says, arms crossed, “we asked Channie which one of us three was his favourite parent—” 

“—You would have thought me, right?!” 

“But, he said _Seungcheol_.” 

“Since he doesn’t think we’re good parents, we decided we’re giving him a special present. By the way, can you make the icing say, ‘You’re dead to us’?”  
  
  
desidera 

“You alright?” Seungcheol sinks to a seat beside Soonyoung, who stops holding his head in his hands to look up. 

“Yeah. Sleepy, but aren’t we all?” 

“Sure, sometimes I wonder if the sleep deprivation is worth it even. But then I see all of your shiny, albeit sweaty, faces and I know I’m happy.” 

“I could be happy somewhere else too though, in a classroom surrounded by all my friends, like Dongjinnie.” 

“Hey, he’s doing well on his chosen path, but so are you.” 

“Thanks.” 

“No problem, kiddo.” 

“Kiddo?” 

Seungcheol shoots finger guns at him while he moonwalks back out.  
  
  
elephant in the room 

Seungkwan valiantly struggles to hold the four feet tall stuffed polar bear, and when he speaks his voice is muffled by fur. “Do you think he just never got the memo that you aren’t supposed to spend money on fairground games because they’re built to make money thus setting you up for failure?” 

Hansol watches Minghao lightly scamper up the sides of the rope ladder on all fours, completely ignoring the rungs on his way to ringing the bell at the top. “Um, I’m not sure he’d care even if he read it.” 

“Hyung, hyung!” Chan shouts. “The giant banana!”  
  
  
Fantine 

 _I dreamed a dream in time gone by /_  
_When Hosh was quiet and Junghan not always sleeping /_  
_I dreamed that Seokmin's video game characters would die /_  
_I dreamed that Mingyu enjoyed the piggybacking /_  
_Then I was young and terrifying /_  
_And Jun hadn’t yet realized that I’m actually a softie /_  
_There was no Seungcheol asking if I’ve slept /_  
_No fighting with Shua over the guitar /_  
_No sassy Channie /_  

 _But Jeon Wonwoo keeps bothering me in my recording studio /_  
_With Seungkwan’s voice following me around /_  
_As Minghao films himself flipping with a GoPro /_  
_As HVC sleeps on the grou-ou-OUND_

“Jihoon, stop singing in the shower!”  
  
  
grouchy 

“Mom sent an entire box of almond biscuits, there’s so many of them I’m pretty sure even you’ll be sick of them.” 

 _Shit_. Jihoon shoves the wrapped pastry into his mouth, but he’s caught trying to fit the lid onto the box of cookies when Junhui and Minghao round the corner to the kitchen. 

“What are you doing?” Junhui stares dumbly. 

Jihoon wonders if now is a bad time to chew. 

“Civilian arrest,” Minghao hisses, teleporting from beside Junhui to behind Jihoon, snatching the box from his fingers, and tying his hands behind his back. “We have a cookie monster.”  
  
  
hashtag married 

“The girl in the webcomic is accused of murder in a foreign country and she can only be brought home if someone marries her.” 

Jisoo raises an eyebrow. “That makes no sense, Junghan.” 

“The point is, that’s romantic. Why won’t anyone give up their lives to save mine?” 

“Junghan-hyung, do you want to fall in luuurve?” 

Soonyoung grins. “Hey Seokmin, I’ll marry you if you ever get into a weird situation like that.” 

Chan notices Junghan’s pout and brightens. “Ah hyung, don’t be upset. I’d marry you!” 

“Nevermind, I’m sure I wouldn’t mind living in the jail cell of a different country.”  
  
  
itchiness 

“Hey you. You with the face.” Mingyu slaps the side of Minghao’s head with a wash cloth. “It’s time to wake up.” 

“Just a little longer…you go brush your teeth first or something and then wake me up when you’re done.” 

“Already did that, punk,” Mingyu says, poking Minghao’s cheek. 

Minghao groans and blindly flails out an arm to push Mingyu away, sharp fingernails catching on Mingyu’s arm and slicing through skin. 

 _Later_ : 

“Holy crap Mingyu, did you get into a fight with a cat?” 

Mingyu purses his lips. “Yeah, I think it was feral. Did you know I hate cats?”  
  
  
jumbotron 

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Soonyoung mumbles, one hand on his belly. He’s bent over with his forehead resting against a wall. They’re half an hour out from their scheduled onstage timeslot. 

“Was it something from breakfast?” Minghao wonders, rubbing small circles on Soonyoung’s lower back. “You’re not developing…what’s the word for when you can’t drink milk?” 

“No, I’m not lactose intolerant.” Soonyoung shakes his head and covers his mouth with his other hand, gagging. 

Chan scoffs. “He ‘won’ a jjajangmyeon eating competition with Seungkwan-hyung.”

“Did you not learn anything from the time with the chicken?” Junhui screeches.  
  
  
kick me 

 _kwon soonyoung_ : omg i’m watching that video of junhui’s pants ripping on stage  
_wonwoo_ : rainism.mp4  
_hoon_ : a wardrobe malfunction is less embarrassing than your voice cracking ㅋㅋㅋ  
_wonwoo_ : rainism.mp4  
_moonjoon_ : [wailing peach butt emoji]  
_moonjoon_ : ㅎㅎㅎ soonyoung your voice cracked  
_wonwoo_ : rainism.mp4  
_hoon_ : well, that was my nice deed for the day, i’m off to slaughter whatever seungkwan just emailed me  
_wonwoo_ : rainism.mp4  
_moonjoon_ : that’s mean ><  
_kwon soonyoung_ : people’s voices crack all the time, not everyone wears neon turquoise underwear  
_moonjoon_ : ㅠㅠ  
_wonwoo_ : RAINISM.MP4  
_wonwoo_ : LITERALLY NONE OF YOU WILL EVER BE MORE EMBARRASSED THAN ME  
_moonjoon_ : please stop roaring and hitting your chest like a gorilla  
  
  
lisztomania 

Seokmin has the handle of a mop in one hand like a microphone, its head covers his hair, fanning ropey grey tendrils down to his neck. The rock music blasting through the dorms drowns out the sound of the door opening and their manager walks in to find complete disarray. 

After being scolded, they stand on their heads in a line, and Seokmin tries not to cry because the tears fall the wrong way. 

“I’m sorry for starting it,” he tells the others. 

“We all followed of our own accord,” Seungcheol says roughly. 

Seungkwan nudges his shoulder. “It’s not your fault you’re the funniest guy in the room.”  
  
  
masquerade 

Seungkwan tsks. “Can you stop leaving embarrassing comments on my KakaoStory from Jihoon-hyung’s phone? He’s going to think I’m responsible for them and then stop paying for me when we go out for lunch.” 

Mingyu, at least, looks abashed. “How did you know it was me?” 

“Other than the fact that you’re eerily familiar with the locations of the moles on my face?” 

“That’s not creepy, it just means I actually look at my friends when I talk to them.” 

“If you say so. The answer’s IP tracking.” 

_to **boo seungkwan**  
from **kim mingyu**  _

_> wait jihoon-hyung pays for your meals? o u o _  
>YOU AND JIHOON-HYUNG GO OUT FOR LUNCH TOGETHER???  
  
  
napalm 

“To your left, to your left!” Seungkwan shouts, leaning backward and clutching Chan’s shoulders desperately. 

“Where?!” Seungcheol brandishes a dark blue slipper over his head, while wildly scanning the walls of the room. 

“Eek!” Soonyoung screams. “Over there, over there, I just saw it fly underneath the lampshade!” 

“Mingyu!” Seungcheol yells, “Go get the lighter and a can of hairspray!” 

Junhui wanders out of the room. “What’s with all the yelling? Some of us are trying to read.” He spots movement out of the corner of his eye and smacks an arm out, squashing the horsefly dead. 

“Jesus,” Chan whispers.  
  
  
over easy 

“First, crack the eggs,” Mingyu explains. “Just tap it gently against the side—” 

“Oops.” 

“I said crack, not smash... Well, while Chan’s picking out bits of egg shell, Hansol, why don’t you have a go?” 

“Erm, alright.” Hansol strokes the edge of the bowl with his raw egg. 

“You’re not trying to turn it into a pet rock.” Mingyu sighs. “Why don’t I just do this bit?” 

“Hyung,” Chan says, after watching Mingyu crack the eggs, beat them, add milk, salt, pepper, and toss the entire mixture into the frying pan. “I think you just did the entire thing.”  
  
  
princess 

“Mirror mirror, on the wall, who’s the tallest of them all?” 

_“Not you.” The mirror’s laugh sounds suspiciously like Bohyuk’s._

“Is Wonwoo-hyung sleep talking again?” Vernon asks, rubbing his eyes. 

_“I can’t believe you’re shorter than me, hyung!” Did Bohyuk sneak into their bathroom and morph into a reflective surface?_

Junhui stares at Wonwoo’s frown. “I think he’s having a nightmare. Should we wake him up?” 

“Fine, who’s tallest after Mingyu?” 

 _“Junhui, obviously.”_  

“If I kill Junhui he won’t be taller than me!” 

Junhui makes a frown of his own. “On second thought, let’s leave him to his suffering forever.”  
  
  
quiver 

“Hyung, I keep slipping into a more conventional melodic progression,” Seungkwan whines. “Your songs are nice, but why do they have to be so difficult to learn?” 

“Because if they were like everyone else’s songs, then we wouldn’t have anything fresh, and there wouldn’t be a point in calling it ‘new music’ if it’s just copying everyone else,” Jihoon recites, spinning on his chair with his head leaned back. 

Seungkwan grumbles. “It’s like, three notes in oh this is expected, fourth note, never mind! Not a scale!” 

“Bullseye. Let’s try it again, now that you’ve understood that.” 

Seungkwan sings.  
  
  
Rapid Eye Movement 

Mingyu isn’t quite sure how to break it to him. Sure, he’s flattered but, he’s just…not interested? 

Seungcheol flutters his eyelashes some more, before looking side to side for anyone else looking at him. 

Maybe if Mingyu pretends he hasn’t noticed the flirty looks it’ll go away. No, that’s not very nice. He has to explain, with words, but he’s not quite sure which ones or how. 

“Hyung…” he tries carefully, pausing from gnawing a fingernail. 

“Wait just one second, Mingyu.” Seungcheol turns to the side. “Jisoo, I think there’s something in my eye. Can you help me get it out?”  
  
  
subak 

“I’m taking one,” Wonwoo announces, plucking a candy up from the pile. 

Junhui shrugs and pops a whole one into his mouth, sucking out sugary flavouring while engrossed in his phone. 

Hansol raises an eyebrow. “Erm, aren’t you supposed to unwrap them first?” 

“What, the rice paper?” Junhui chews thoughtfully. “It’s like, dissolved in my mouth though?” 

“There’s a difference between ‘non-toxic’ and ‘something you should eat’,” Wonwoo says, eating the rice paper too. “And this is something you should eat. Adds a crispy texture.” 

“Are you sure?” Hansol asks, still skeptical. 

“Well, neither of us are dead. Yet.”  
  
  
toll booth 

“I bet you the cost of my Starbuck’s order that I can make Junghan-hyung say he loves me without prompting.” 

Minghao leans over and puts an arm around Hansol’s shoulders. “Don’t take that bet.” 

Hansol snorts. “I don’t plan on it.” 

Chan pouts. “Why not? It’s a perfectly valid wager.” 

“Not the gambling type.” 

“I’ll bet you your pride,” Minghao offers. 

“Junghannie-hyung,” Chan says, wandering over to their table. 

“Where’d that come from? Do you want something from me?” 

Hansol snickers behind the sleeve of his shirt. 

Minghao pointedly makes eye contact with Chan when he calls out, “Junghan-hyung!” 

“Yes, my beloved Minghao dongsaeng?”  
  
  
unabridged version 

“I cannot wait for promotions to end so I can finally catch up on my beauty sleep. I think I’m going to need the blood sacrifice of six newborns to restore my youthful beauty,” Junghan says, haggardly draped over the back of the sofa. 

“Ohhh,” Junhui says with understanding, “so that’s how you keep your skin looking healthy without sleep.” 

Jisoo sighs wistfully. “I can’t wait for promotions to be over either.” 

“I thought you liked doing this?” 

“Yeah but there are so many chapters of One Punch Man I have to catch up on, and I just want to read.”  
  
  
viscosity 

“What do you mean you’ve never touched a worm? Isn’t that an integral part of every elementary school student’s curriculum?” Chan wonders, appalled. 

“I never did it. Or maybe our class had that science experiment when I was away or something. Anyway put that worm down, that’s gross.” Wonwoo scrunches his nose and turns away. 

“Hyung, it’s a coming of age experience! Everyone has to hold a worm at least once,” Chan says. He flings one onto Wonwoo’s hand, moist soil and all, before running away. 

Wonwoo blanches at the mud. “Lee Chan! Get back here! I know where you live!”  
  
  
with movement 

“Excellent,” Jihoon says, “minion, take me to the kitchenette. The coffee overlords await.” 

Hansol does a double take, his zipper halfway done up in preparation to leave the practice rooms. 

“Well, minion, hurry up!” 

He approaches with confusion, and Jihoon forcefully turns Hansol around so he can leap up onto his back. Hansol walks over to where the coffee machine sits and blinks owlishly while Jihoon somehow manages to chug down piping hot coffee. 

Jihoon blinks and clears his head after slamming his mug back down on the table, and when he spots Hansol he seems to realize what he had just done. “Speak naught of this to anyone…”  
  
  
Xiao Hao

“Xiao Hao, your turn to shower.” Junhui wanders back into the room in naught but his boxers, crawling over two beds to get to his own. 

Minghao stands and throws a tshirt at him. “Don’t call me that!” 

“Well, what do I call you then? Xiao Ba? Little penis?” 

“You’re the worst. Why do you have to turn something as innocent as a number into a dick joke?” 

When Minghao returns after his shower, Junhui bids him goodnight. “Actually get some sleep instead of watching movies, Xiao Xu.” 

The impersonality gives Minghao hives. “Just call me Xiao Hao. I hate you.”  
  
  
yonder 

“My grandfather’s hockey team just lost the conference finals in the playoffs,” Hansol says, staring down at his phone. 

Jisoo yawns, and falls sideways while the car turns. He doesn’t lift his head from Jihoon’s shoulder. “There’s hockey in Florida?” 

“Oh yeah. The Tampa Bay Lightning have made it to the conference finals twice in the past two years. I guess everyone in the States is watching basketball right now though.” 

“Warriors man, golden state represent.” 

“True…California~” 

Jisoo is quiet for a moment. “I miss my mom.” 

“Me too,” Jihoon mutters in accurate English, quickly looking out the window.  
  
  
zircon 

“So final answer, the triangle one because it looks like Seventeen’s logo? That’s definitely the best one?” He looks to either side of him where his friends are also looking at the online shopping page pulled up on his laptop. 

“Yes Seungkwan, honestly, it’s a mixed metal ring, not something with diamonds. Why are you buying your mom a ring anyway?” Soonyoung rolls over on the bed. 

“It’s an expression of my love for her!” Seungkwan replies shrilly. 

“It’s because he accidentally dropped his mom’s engagement ring down the sink when he was six.” 

“Seokmin, why must you ruin _everything_?”  
  
  
_bonus_  

“By the way, I have grey hair.” Junghan says the last line in English before hanging up, leaving Seungcheol in a panic. 

“Kids! Get over here right now!” 

“Is there a reason why you can’t just use the group chat?” 

“Yes, because the matter is delicate. It has to do with Junghan’s…age. He’s found…a grey hair.” 

“Ahhhh! We can’t make it obvious that we’re worried! Junghan’s not into direct displays of concern, grey hair or no.” 

During Jisoo’s impassioned speech, no one notices Junghan’s walking in. “What is wrong with all of you? I said ‘I have _great_ hair’.”

**Author's Note:**

> edit 13.07.2016: hjs seen wearing a golden state warriors shirt  
> 


End file.
